The Person Behind the Professional

Good morning everyone and welcome to Monday.  Today’s Monday Morning Motivational Minute is inspired by a short personal story written by Paul Harvey.  For those of you who may not know, Paul Harvey is most famous for his radio program called “The Rest of The Story” where he tells the beginning of a story whose ending you think is obvious and where, after the commercial break, he reveals the true ending and the moral contained within.  I chose this wonderful story because it is about Paul Harvey as a grandfather.  It reveals the person behind the professional.  It is about his hopes and dreams for his grandchildren.
I began thinking that, as a salesman, I have always tended to see the person in front of me as a professional; as a client or potential client.  The truth is that the person in front of me is a person first.  He or she may have a professional role to play but to himself, he is, most importantly, a private individual with his own thoughts and dreams and ideas.  In a business climate where the new model of selling teaches the value of building both trust and a relationship with your customers, we would do well to remember this.
Nobody cares what you know until they know that you care. 
Ask some questions that aren’t about business once in a while and remember to talk less and listen more. If you think you have a great relationship with a customer and you don’t know about their children or grandchildren, you may want to reevaluate just how much of a relationship you really have.  Over the course of my sales career, I can not remember the number of times I have said that I have such a great relationship with this customer or that one, but I do know that the number of customers about whom I knew their thoughts and dreams and ideas is a much, much smaller number.
I hope you like the story.
Paul Harvey relates:

(As a nation) we’ve tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we’ve made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better. I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches, I really would.

To them I would say…

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen. It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep. I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in, I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him. When you want to see a movie and your little brother wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him. I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely. On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as un-cool as your Mom. If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one. I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books. When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head. I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a girl. When you talk back to your mother, I hope that you learn what ivory soap tastes like. May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole. I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you drugs, I hope you realize he is not your friend. I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle. May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the Holidays. I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand. These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

Written with a pen and sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.

-         Paul Harvey

Be inspired and have a great day.

Leadership, Ronald Reagan and Listening.

So what is leadership?  There must be thousands of answers to this question. Actually, the great oracle of Google tells me there are about 362,000,000 answers. It is in this very popular question that I found the inspiration to today’s Monday Morning Motivational Minute.

This weekend I was looking through my office library and I came across a copy of Dutch – a Memoir of Ronald Regan by Edmund Morris and I began to think about whom he was and what he meant to our nation and the world.  Who was this man who led our great nation from 1981 to 1989?  What kind of man was he?  What kind of leader was he?

Margaret Thatcher summarized what she believed to be the essence of the man in her eulogy on June 11, 2004. “In his lifetime, Ronald Reagan was such a cheerful and invigorating presence that it was easy to forget what daunting historic tasks he set for himself. He sought to mend America's wounded spirit, to restore the strength of the free world and to free the slaves of Communism.”

Ronald Reagan once said that, “America is too great for small dreams.”

Whatever else you may believe about him, President Reagan was passionately committed to his beliefs. I believe that Reagan’s secret was that he gave people exactly what they needed in a leader.  Not what they wanted but what they needed. What I believe made him so unique is that despite being so passionate with his beliefs he still knew how to listen. It was, however, the unique nature of his listening that made him different.

It would have been easy for him, committed to his vision and enjoying popular support to stop listening at any time during his presidency.  He could have argued that listening would have seemed like following the polls, pandering to special interest and caving to the whims of public opinion just for the sake of reelection and the maintenance of his presidential legacy.  He could have reminded the nation that there is an old saying that if Henry Ford had listened to advice we would all have better buggy whips today and not cars.  So listening can indeed have a dark side.

Yet listening was Reagan’s secret. To listen, and to truly value both the person speaking and what they had to say.  The irony is that often enough, he could be expected to make a decision that contradicted the very people he was listening to.  He impressed his advisors, his enemies and the voters by actively listening to everyone.  He believed that people wanted to be sure that he heard what they had to say and that he cared that they said it and that they were less focused on whether or not he actually did what they asked.

As a result, he often received criticism for accepting campaign contributions from special interest groups whose agendas, many of his other supporters found objectionable. Reagan listened to everyone, and then proceeded to act on his own internal moral compass. Sometimes this agreed with a petitioners request and sometimes it did not.

To truly illustrate the respect his enemies had for him you need look no further than his relationship with Mikhail Gorbachev.  In 1983, Reagan publicly called the Soviet Union “the Evil Empire” and he deeply believed it.  By 1985 he was signing a peace treaty with Gorbachev eliminating the entire class of medium range nuclear tipped missiles and in 2004, Gorbachev remembered President Reagan as, “an honest rival and a friend”.

How will you be remembered?

Value everyone, be inspired and have a great week.

Stop Complaining

While watching the 1^st episode of America, the Story of Us, and I found myself inspired to write today’s Monday Morning Motivational Minute.

As a student of history, nothing in the program was unfamiliar to me but it was humbling never the less.  The men and women throughout our history who were responsible for the very existence of our country suffered.  Nothing they gave us was gained easily.  The legacy they left us was paid for with blood, sweat, tears, suffering, sacrifice, hope, courage and death.

We have become the richest nation on earth and have largely forgotten what true suffering really is.  Yet somehow, we have the audacity to complain about things.  We shouldn’t complain about anything yet we complain about almost everything.  I feel as though I should be ashamed of myself because I’m no different than anyone else in this respect.  I can talk myself into some measure of consolation in that I do not complain as much as others but nevertheless, I do so far more often than I should.

What do we really understand about ourselves as a nation?  How many of us have actually read the Declaration of Independence?  Honestly, I don’t recall that I have. The guy from the Philippines taking a citizenship class has probably read more of it than I have.

“We hold these truths to be self evident that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

Our country provides for our life and our liberty but happiness is for us to achieve on our own.  The Declaration of Independence did not demand that we all be happy.  It demanded that we all be free to pursue happiness.  I believe the best way we can honor the sacrifice of our founding ancestors and anyone who has ever sacrificed for this country is to exercise the very right they fought to provide us.

Far too many Americans do not truly appreciate this hard earned gift. It must be so because antidepressants are the single most prescribed drug in America.  Studies have consistently shown that happy people are healthier and live longer than unhappy people. Pursue happiness. Not only is it your constitutional right and obligation as an American, being happy is just more fun.

So today’s Monday Morning Motivational Minute message is very simply to “Be Happy” and if you can’t be happy just keep trying. 

"Remember that you are only young once but you can remain immature indefinitely."  –Mark Twain

Be inspired and have a great week.

Good Enough Isn't Good Enough

The inspiration for this Monday Morning Motivational Minute began in ancient Greece with Plato.  He wrote “wise men talk because they have something to say, fools speak because they have to say something”.  I felt quite the fool preparing for today’s motivational minute because I could not think of anything to write. I had nothing and I was very close to being the foolish man who feels he has to say something but has nothing to say.  What I found truly inspired me because it made me realize that you don’t need to be a great historical figure or someone famous to be wise and to inspire others.  I found the following story by a man named Barry Spilchuk who is just an ordinary person like you and me, famous for nothing.  And yet here I am moved to share his story.

Mr. Spilchuk relates,

Pete Rose, the famous baseball player, and I have never met, but he taught me something so valuable that it changed my life. Pete was being interviewed in spring training the year he was about to break Ty Cobb's all time hits record. One reporter blurted out, "Pete, you only need 78 hits to break the record. How many at-bats do you think you'll need to get the 78 hits?" Without hesitation, Pete just stared at the reporter and very matter-of-factly said, "78." The reporter yelled back, "Ah, come on Pete, you don't expect to get 78 hits in 78 at-bats do you?" 

Mr. Rose calmly shared his philosophy with the throngs of reporters who were anxiously awaiting his reply to this seemingly boastful claim. "Every time I step up to the plate, I expect to get a hit! If I don't expect to get a hit, I have no right to step in the batter's box in the first place!" "If I don’t go up hoping to get a hit," he continued, "then I probably don't have a prayer to get a hit. It is a positive expectation that has gotten me all of the hits in the first place." 

When I thought about Pete Rose's philosophy and how it applied to everyday life, I felt a little embarrassed. As a business person, I was hoping to make my sales quotas. As a father, I was hoping to be a good dad. As a married man, I was hoping to be a good husband. 

The truth was that I was an adequate salesperson, I was not so bad of a father, and I was an okay husband. I immediately decided that being okay was not enough! I wanted to be a great salesperson, a great father and a great husband. I changed my attitude to one of positive expectation, and the results were amazing. I was fortunate enough to win a few sales trips, I won Coach of the Year in my son's baseball league, and I share a loving relationship with my wife, Karen, with whom I expect to be married to for the rest of my life! Thanks, Mr. Rose! 

Thank you Mr. Barry Spilchuk

Being Unforgettable

Good Morning Everyone.  Today’s Monday Morning Motivational Minute is about confidence, empathy and being unforgettable.  I found my inspiration in a Dale Carnegie course called, Make Yourself Unforgettable and begin with a quote from that course material.

“When you lack confidence in yourself, others are very likely to agree with you.”

I have a very basic belief. I believe that when you interact with others, people really do want to feel good about you.  If you meet someone, they want to like you. They want to connect with you.  It is a very powerful and natural element of the human experience and it is an instinct that is hardwired into our brains.  It is also up to you whether or not you make it easy or difficult for them to do so. So it is not so difficult to understand that confidence in social situations is very important. But, what then, really is confidence? 

Confidence is not as easy as simply believing that anything is possible and never having any doubts. This notion that you can do anything you set your mind to is a great idea.  But just maybe it is not the whole picture.  Maybe true confidence is not the certainty that you will always succeed or that you will never fail.  Maybe it’s the certainty that you will always do your best because doing so is the only thing you truly have control over every moment of your life.  Someone who is truly confident can recognize their own limitations without becoming preoccupied by them.

Why is it that some people make such a strong and lasting impression? Why are they so unforgettable?

According to Dale Carnegie, there are three key social skills that truly unforgettable people possess.

1. The capacity to relax in social situations.  If you feel uncomfortable you can expect everyone to agree with you.
2. Talk less and listen more.  Mark Twain once said, “If we were meant to talk more than we listen, we would have 2 mouths and one ear.”
3. And the most important of all is empathy.  You must genuinely be interested in the thoughts, experiences and feelings of others.  

If you have ever played “topper” in a conversation you’ll easily understand the point.  Topper is an easy game and it goes like this.  Someone tells you something about themselves and then you quickly launch into a far more interesting story about how you did the same thing only faster or higher or longer or maybe better.  You get the point.  Sound familiar?  Topper is such a powerful impulse you can actually see people struggling to hold back in a conversation until they can finally get their chance to get started talking about themselves.

We all do it.

Truly unforgettable people do not.  They have true confidence and have no need.  For them, confidence and empathy are not separate. And if you don’t believe me, maybe Dwight Eisenhower can convince you.  During World War Two Eisenhower was the supreme commander of allied forces in Europe.   Just before the Normandy invasion, a number of names were given to him for possible promotion to General.  One of the men requested a meeting with Eisenhower to speak on his own behalf.  He said something like this.  “Sir, I have every possible qualification to be a commander.  I have absolutely no fear.  I’ve distinguished myself in combat for more than 20 years.  I have tireless energy. I hardly ever need to sleep. I can drive a tank. I can fly a plane. I can climb mountains.  I can swim rivers.  I can walk across desserts.  What more could you want?”  Eisenhower listened closely and replied. “You sound like an amazing soldier but that’s just the point.  Most of our soldiers are not amazing and we need generals who can understand and empathize with those men.  I’m sorry, but I have to deny the promotion.”

Eisenhower understood that being an unforgettable leader takes more than just confidence in your own strengths.  It also means empathizing with the shortcomings of others.

So in the end, confidence isn’t something you have so much as it is something you give that is reflected back to you.

This week, try thinking about your own reflection, be inspired, and have a great week.